The Art of Perseverance & Building Self-Confidence

Hi everyone, it's Robin! Although I am usually a very private person, this blog is personal. I am opening up and sharing my own experience of perseverance and building my self-confidence through private yoga lessons. It has been life-changing and eye-opening, and it mirrors what we do at Brightside so closely 💟

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I always thought that yoga was supposed to be "easy" -- that it was something that people should be able to do without much effort, and do well. That's how it appeared to me on Instagram, and through an external lens, anyway. In fact, for a long time, I had many intrusive thoughts about it: How would I look, going to a yoga class filled with people who knew exactly what they were doing and who made it look so easy? And what would they think of me? Would I even be able to keep up? And then I would talk myself out of going... Without even realizing it, my fear and negative self-talk played on autopilot, repeating over and over in my mind, for a very long time. I'm not even sure I knew the real impact it was having until recently. My fear was holding me back, forcing me to become rigid and stuck. I wasn't even willing to try -- it just seemed too risky, and I would give up before even starting.

One day, a few months ago, I managed to pump myself up enough to try a less risky option -- a private yoga lesson. After years of should I or shouldn't I, my lesson was actually booked! As I started attending lessons, it quickly became apparent that I had zero self-confidence when it came to this. In fact, as a protection mechanism, I would panic and give up. On top of that, I was really hard on myself because I felt like I should be able to do it, and would often beat myself up for not getting something right immediately, or possibly looking silly while doing something. To make matters worse, when I finally did start making progress, it was hard for me to see it in myself. I felt like I wasn't good at it and never would be.

Thankfully, my yoga teacher was there to help me, and I believe that is what made all the difference. She has been the most wonderful, passionate, positive, educated, determined, and supportive instructor and cheerleader! She also reminds me a lot of myself when I'm at work -- she notices and sees things. That's why she saw right through the wall I put up from the very start. During one of our first few lessons, I remember her telling me that she was going to make me strong; I smiled politely and said okay, while thinking, whatever you say, with immense doubt and caution. Over time, I actually did become stronger (yay!) and I began to trust my yoga teacher more and more. Eventually, even if I still didn't think I could do something, I began to try if she thought I could do it, instead of just giving up. This was major for me!!!

After practicing for a while on a regular basis, my yoga teacher told me that she was going to teach me to do a headstand. My response (said aloud): What? A headstand? You must have lost your mind! Then, I think I burst out laughing because this seemed like such a ludicrous thing for us to even be talking about. But, she said I was ready, and even though I didn't think I could do it, I trusted her, had experienced many successes with her already, and I decided to give it a try.

The first few times were really rough, and my fear kept getting in the way and stopping me in my tracks. At first, I was scared just to put my head down on the mat. Then, I tried it a few times and I became more comfortable.

And this is how each teeny, tiny step would go:

Attempt 1: Pep talk with lots of encouragement, a quick attempt, a wave of panic, and then giving up.

Attempt 2 (with a better sense of what to expect): Pep talk and encouragement, try for a bit longer without giving up.

After many attempts over several weeks, here is my first time holding a partial tripod headstand on my own (notice her hands are not touching me!).

I did it! Woohoo!

This experience has been transformative for me and has inspired me to reflect upon how closely it mirrors the work we do at Brightside.

I've been thinking about how we support students to build their confidence and self-esteem, help them learn the skills and strategies they need for success, and then integrate them consistently, with encouragement and support, until they develop independence.

I've been thinking about how our specialized heartfelt approach supports success, and how we cheerlead and walk alongside each student, with the goal of them feeling truly seen, valued, and understood, beyond the surface.

I've been thinking about the students who tell me that it seems like their peers have it so easy, never have to do homework, barely need to study, and don't seem to put in any work or effort at all -- and about how that is a misconception that keeps us stuck in place.

I've been thinking about all the times that I've said I will help you or I'll be here for you to a student or parent, and find myself wondering what they were really thinking when hearing that, before actually having experienced it for themselves.

I find myself thinking about how I've walked alongside students and families as they've experienced success: applying (and getting in!) to higher education programs after being told by their school teams that they shouldn't bother, attending school meetings and advocating with logic and conviction (and then being thanked with, "you really have my back"), and consoling sometimes inconsolable parents.

I find myself beaming with pride when I think about every student who finally reached out to me, unprompted, to ask for help, or share an update or success. This may seem small, but it is major. It means they have experienced enough success and trust enough to take the risk to speak up.

When I held that semi-tripod headstand on my own, my yoga teacher squealed with joy and did a dance. And although I don't usually dance (I have, however, been known to shed some tears), that is what I feel like inside every time I help a student experience success. And now, after experiencing what it's like to be the student, it makes each and every success even more meaningful!

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Special note: If you are looking for a safe space to learn yoga, relax, or improve your general wellness, please contact Energie Encorps (https://energieencorps.com/). I highly recommend Rozel and her team!