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Coaching IRL (in real life)

Managing ADHD + Executive Function IRL


Last month, a parent had booked a time for a phone call with me to discuss their child's needs. I explained how coaching works and what we do together in sessions. And then, towards the end of the call, the parent said "I'm trying to figure out what makes this different than tutoring." Although I tried to explain it again, the parent did not seem to understand what makes coaching so special, so important, so crucial, in helping students achieve personal and academic success.


Let me try to explain:


This week, I worked with a university student who was feeling anxious and having panic attacks about the upcoming midterms. The student has been on track with their study plan, they were getting things done, but then got deterred by something unexpected and was having a hard time getting back on track. I noticed that the student's anxiety was very high and suggested that they book an appointment with their therapist. Since I teach students to be NOW people (as opposed to later people), the student called to make an appointment but was unable to. You see, they had not paid the bill from their last session, and that had to be done before any future appointments were booked. And why hadn't that bill been paid? The student had some fraud on their credit card about two months prior and never got a new card.


This situation was multilayered. To get the student the help needed to manage their anxiety, we had to use executive function skills, develop a plan, problem-solve, and then put the plan into action. The student had no idea where to start and it was creating more overwhelm.


So we made a plan:


✅ Call mom to get a temporary credit card number so I can pay my previous therapy bill.

✅ Find my previous therapy bill.

✅ Pay my previous therapy bill.

✅ Call therapy clinic to schedule new appointment.

✅ Add new appointment into my calendar + set reminder alert.

✅ Contact bank to order new credit card.

✅ In my calendar, schedule a time to follow-up with bank (if card has not been received).


Then we talked about what to say to the student's mom, the therapy clinic, and the bank. The student was able to preview what was coming up, know what to expect, be prepared, have the right words to use. The student immediately began to feel more at ease. They felt supported and like they would be able to handle this.


Finally, we put the plan into action. The student went through each step in the list, one by one, and got them all done!


The student's anxiety level immediately began to drop. They felt reassured and on track again. They got something done and it felt good! And it proved to them that they can get through difficult situations and turn things around!


And that's what coaching is all about!

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